Monday, July 28, 2008

Moronic Monday's

I'm sick to my stomach from having to come into this place when there is little to do. I'm bored, disgusted and frustrated by my job. I've allowed it to hold me back for years, when I thought I had found a comfortable niche. It turns out that I am my own worse enemy. There were plenty of opportunities for me to leave but I always told myself that I had to do the practical thing. I have responsibilities in this world..something I'm not very good at. I really try to do the right things in life, yet I often discover that I've chosen the wrong path once again. Instead of the clean road to success, I pick the one pitted with pot holes, rusty nails and glass shards. I secretly enjoy the more tawdry, raw side of life much to the dismay of many of my loved ones. I'm caught in between Martha Stewart and Motley Crue, yielding to the more sordid rather than the white gloves that ol'Martha likes to whip out every now and then. What a bleepin analogy!

I'm embarking on my script this weekend and am excited to set up the story. I have some great ideas and although some of it may be autobiographical, it by no means is my life story. That would be far too bland with only small lipids of glaring neon color to embellish on. This story is one that has been with me for years and I have a great need to tell it. Whether it makes me money doesn't matter. I'm actually looking forward to the poorer side of life since I now have a full understanding that money doesn't make the person nor does it make your life. You can screw for it, marry for it, die for it and even pine for it, but it sure doesn't feel good when it's the only thing you have in this damn world.

I said yesterday that I was ready for another mindless, maddening week but I'm not. All I can think of is how I wish I was somewhere else...writing a more positive blog and offering up my talents to people who care. I guess I'll have to wait another day for that miracle to take place. Eventually, the earth will move for me...I've become a very patient woman in my elder years.

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