Sunday, October 5, 2008

Target Stampede or How I Lost it All and Gained Everything!

I spent my weekend at Target. No, really I did and I got amazing steals and deals from jewelry to pocketbooks to shoes and funky clothes. I am totally stoked people because when you start to acquire a new body, you must, as a rule, acquire more stylish garments to match your current flavor. Since last March, I've lost about 40 pounds and am excited about wearing a slightly trampy, vampy black lace number I've been saving for a friends wedding. What's better than acting a little bad on a day when everyone else is behaving themselves and the star of the show is adorned in white on white.

I've always fashioned myself in black, my favorite non-color. A close friend of mine in college always joked with me that he had never seen me in any other color besides black and honestly, when I saw him years later, I of course was wearing BLACK. Gee, what a bloody surprise! I always feel I look best in dark clothing with my hair and olive complexion, especially when I'm tan. Wearing black also has the added advantage of making you look thinner than you really are and boy oh boy there is nothing like wearing the first black turtleneck of the winter season. I'm obsessed with every variety including ribbed sweater types and mocks as well as Land's End cotton turtlenecks that are soft to the touch. I know this sounds bizarre and many of you who have had the pleasure/displeasure of living with me often know that when I'm thinking or writing, I inadvertently pull the collar over half my face, obstructing most of my breathing passages. Weird habit, I know, but I've been doing it since I was a kid and at this point in my life, it's become some what of a rite of passage as fall becomes winter in my household.

I plan on working extra hard this week to ensure maximum weight loss which includes little bread, lots of salad and extra walking and lifting. I'm also going to do something a little cheesy too. Since the weather has NOT cooperated, I am going to go tanning, something I warded off for years because of the radiation dangers. I'm going to ask my trusty student aid Becky to come with me for fear I'll stay in the booth too long and look like some orange freakazoid from the planet FRIED! They told me I needed to buy some special lotion that costs and arm and leg so I suppose I'm going to make that purchase to ensure proper coverage and a nice savage tan in time for the plethora of weddings that this October has promised. I must admit that I am excited at the prospect of making a spectacular entrance at this shindig, even if I'm not a size 2. I feel great right now, confident in my weight loss journey and eager to make a splash.

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